This Video? Pure Awesome.

Words doth, fail the Lost One:



Via, my Road Dog, Ace. AAAE.
Later.

Awesome? Bad? Or Awesomely bad?

The Lost One actually found this on the Jawa Report, before it was cross posted at Ace's. As the title implies, the Lost One can't tell whether he loves this, loathes this, or otherwise. Yes, it's funny, but Zombie Ben Franklin on the electric guitar. . .Too much. The Lost One gives it 5 stars for concept, 2-2.5 stars for execution. Ah, well good for a view, anyways.

Texas Bans Marriage

Ace has a post up of what must be the worst written Constitutional amendment, evah. Here is the bit of the Texas State constitution that's quoted on Ace:

"This state or a political subdivision of this state may not create or recognize any legal status identical or similar to marriage."

Of course, you know what is identical to marriage? Marriage. With legislatures like this, what a bloody brilliant time to be a lawyer. In fact I'm going to quote Dark Helmet here: "So Lonestar, now you see that evil will always triumph, because good is dumb."

Dang, it feels good to be a gangsta.

Until next time kids.

Adam Baldwin ≠ Jane Cobb

The *Firefly* and *Chuck* alumn, who has a habit of playing the kinda thick guy proves he's any thing but thick. The Lost One nearly cried at the lawyer like precision with which federal regulations were disected. But the best part: "as Jonah Goldberg once profoundly wrote:
'Unity Is Overrated: What’s so bad about partisanship?' " Darn Straight. Until next time folks.

Why the nanny state sucks: A case study

From the civilization that used to rule the world, comes this story " 'I'll go abroad to keep my baby': Pregnant again mother of 13 vows to save new baby as sister calls for her to be sterilised":

A pregnant woman who has had all 13 of her previous children taken into care has vowed to flee abroad to prevent social workers taking away her 14th.

Okay, you're no doubt saying, any country can have a crazy person or two. But wait it gets so much worse:

Miss Winters, a heavy smoker who was herself taken into care as a teenager,
accused social workers of failing to help her achieve her deepest wish of having
a family and she would keep giving birth until she is allowed to keep one.

Read the article and you will see just how bad it is.

Did you catch it? Here is the Lost in the World's patened Crazy Cam (patent pending) for those who missed it:

[She]accused social workers of failing to help her achieve her deepest wish of having a family...

That's right crazy mccrazerton, thinks it's the government's job to make sure she has a child. But wait, there's more!

Turns out, the Brits haven't learned their lesson, Nanny State Ho!

The Children’s Secretary set out £400million plans to put 20,000 problem
families under 24-hour CCTV super-vision in their own homes. They will be monitored to ensure that children attend school, go to bed on time and eat proper meals. Private security guards will also be sent round to carry out home checks, while parents will be given help to combat drug and alcohol addiction.

How positively Orwellian of them. But there is hope, let's see what the opposition party has to say!

Shadow Home Secretary Chris Grayling said: “This is all much too little,
much too late."

Now that my friends, is some weapons grade crazy.

The Lost in the World guide to books you shouldn't read, Cinema edition.

In his previous blog, the Lost One liked to mock bad books (Here and Here, for those interested). Now having seen a movie based on a waaaaaaaaaaaay too popular book series, the Lost One proudly presents, The Lost in the World guide to books you shouldn't read, Cinema edition, or why Twilight sucks.

The basic problem with Twilight, is that it fails to properly appreciate the role of the modern vampire. The figure has his roots in the seminal work of fiction, Bram Stoker's Dracula, where, unlike his other forgettable monsters, Stoker managed to turn the monster into a metaphor. Read the book, and it will quickly become apparent that the Vampire is a loose (A very loose [A very very loose]) symbol for the person who has lost control of their own libido. Don't believe the Lost One? Read the book. Some of Dracula's attack scenes are quite blush inducing, and at one point the Three Sisters, upon learning of Drac's plan to steal Mina Harper mock him by saying, "You will never find love."

And that is the grand truth of the Sexual libertine, he will never find love in excess, for pleasure is a tread mill that goes no where, and demands more and more stimuli to reach previous levels. Thus, in Dracula we have a monster, without a doubt, but a monster that is us at our worst, and most selfish. In that way, Dracula is an interesting and approachable character.

Yet, in Twilight, the vampire is presented as a controlled monster, a dog on a lease. It is obvious the author is aware of the tradition (She makes references to her characters, "Losing Control" [I.E. killing humans] in the sexual act), and yet chooses to allow her Vampiric hero, to control his blood lust in the name of love. The result is to imply that, rather then killing love in its cradle as it really does, in excess one can find love. No. Simply no.

Of course the term "love" is itself corrupted as a result, and we see C.S. Lewis' wise definition, "The Lover wants only the best for the beloved.", twisted into a sick simulacrum of itself, "The Lover wants the best for himself from the Beloved." As all through out the movie the Lost One kept thinking, "Oh, you love her? How horrible, for both of you. Just move away and she will forget you and find someone new. After all, most widows remarry." Of course, the "hero" doesn't, but exposes her to constant danger, for no better reason then...er...ah...

Which brings the Lost One to his second complaint, this movie has no logic. At all. See it's a family of vampires, living in the middle of nowhere (Why? A big city is much, much, much better for getting anonymously lost in), who attend school with normal people (Why? Two words, *Home Schooling*), and have super awesome powers (Why? Magic? Science? No answer.) no weaknesses (Why Aren't they proud to be Vampires then?) and are content to live on the fringes of society (Why? If they truly are as powerful and weakness free, why go with the whole blood lust scenario? Why, to quote a better vampire flick, isn't it that "Humanities Free Range days are over." [British Mini Series Ultraviolet. WAY better then Twilight.]) Yet ultimately, the author has no answers or merely weak ones. And when a plot point exists outside of reality, and only to move along the plot, there is a technical term for that in writing. "Bad writing".

Which leads to the final complaint, namely this is just another version of the Lost One's least beloved bedtime story, the bad boy who just needs to be loved. (That sound? The one you hear wherever you are on this happy spinning globe that is big daddy Earth, is the sound of the Lost One vomiting) But again, this fantasy is just as shallow as the male fantasy that, ironically, the vampire was created to mock, the I-can-sleep-with-every-one-consequence-free idea that is at the heart of the vampire mythos. Only, where STDs (Or STIs depending on the vernacular) have killed the male version, the female version is still alive, and keeping women in crappy relationships with abusive husbands, boyfriends, and lovers the world around. Yuck.

So ultimately, the Lost One must turn to a quote from the Sage that is the Ace of Spades, "There are 2 kinds of vampire films, ones in which valiant humans battle against impossible odds, to save humanity from monsters, and vampire films that suck." Wise words. Wise words, indeed.

News of both...

The Sacred:

Two students who were threatened with suspension at the College of Alameda after
one of them prayed with an ailing teacher in a faculty office can sue the
community college district for allegedly violating their freedom of speech, a
federal judge has ruled....The women sued, and U.S. District Judge Susan Illston
ruled in San Francisco that their case could proceed, saying a college student
has the right to pray in private outside the classroom.

San Fransisco?!??!! Huh, who'd a thunk it?:

Kyriacou prayed with the teacher, Sharon Bell, at an office Bell shared with
other teachers, on two occasions in November and December 2007. The second time,
a day when Bell was feeling ill, another teacher entered the office and told
Kyriacou, "You can't be doing that in here," and the student stopped praying and
left, the suit said.
Kyriacou and Omaga received suspension notices 10 days
later. Omaga was accused of praying disruptively in class, Illston said, citing
testimony at the students' disciplinary hearings.

Well, it looks like someone is about to get their tenure snapped. Heh heh.

Now on to the "Profane". Washington, DC is often referred to as "Hollywood, for ugly people", but it would seem that that is only true of American politics. So here's a link to a list of the 65 most beautiful women in international politics. (Scroll down past the Espanol [OK, so it's not that profane, none of the pictures are "risque" so it's totally SFW, but the Lost One had a perfectly good set up to use]). Smart and pretty = *Sigh*. Enjoy. Oh, but watch out for #46.

Via, drum roll please, Ace (AAAE).

All the Planet's Problems Have Been Solved!

It must be official, otherwise why would the UN being wasting their time (and money) holding a retrospective of Battlestar Galactica? Don't miss take the Lost One, he was a huge fan of the show, it's fun. It's thought provoking. But, above all it's a television show.

From TV Guide:

"Standing in a United Nations chamber before a table covered in placards for
each of the 12 Battlestar Galactica colonies, Edward James Olmos delivered a
stirring speech that led a crowd of reporters and students to join in a chant of
'So say we all,' one of the key phrases from the show.
It could have been a stirring moment in the series finale — but the moment was real. "

The Lost One is (given his well known enmity towards the most useless entity ever created, the UN) less then shocked to see them waste time, money, and prestige on a chance to rub elbows with a few famous people (Official UN "Goodwill" ambassadors Geri "Sexy Spice" Halliwell, or Angelina "Adopt'em all, let God sort'em out" Jolie anyone?). Still, there is nothing useful that they could be doing at this point? Nothing?

The Lost One doesn't know which is sadder, that people accept this from the UN, or that it well may be the truth.

Crazy Obama money, here comes the Lost One!

Well, the Lost One was nervous about his financial future, but the Obamessiah has used his magical powers and assured the Lost One's liquidity for years to come. Having nominated this man:










Ron Sims, offering Praise to the One

For the position of Undersecrutary of Housing and Urban Development, the Lost One is going to charge people $20 bucks a head for pictures with the hand that shook the hand of the man that was chosen by the Lamb of Illinois. He can already see the queue forming. Ah, got to love the followers of the O-cult. Hasta

Too Hot For NBC

As Ace notes, PETA would have been allowed to do a commercial if they would just tone down the Sex. The Lost One loves that the Lamb of Illinois can be used against the DNC's platform. Bloody brilliant.