Star Wars: The Old Republic Beta Review

So after a protracted silence we have. . . My review of the Star Wars: The Old Republic Beta Test. First some preliminaries. I’ve been waiting for this game since it was first announced in 2008. Yes, I’m that guy. I heard “Bioware” (MAKERS OF KOTOR AND KOTOR 2!?!!???) and Star Wars RPG (KOTOR AND KOTOR 2!?!!???) and was sold. I signed up for the news letter, I read everything. In February, I signed up to be a beta tester and was scheduled to buy a new computer the weekend after I found out I was getting fired. That stopped that on both matters, or so I thought. Then in early November, I got an e-mail saying, wonder of wonders, angels singing, and harps strumming, I, yes I, was invited to be a beta tester. After borrowing a friend’s internet, I was set to go. What follows was three days (Including one overnight, and one partial overnight) of well. . .You’ll see.

The part in which I explain my background.

I have never played an MMO. They, those who do, are nerds. What’s more they are the nerds *I* make fun of. Take a moment to goggle at that. Add to that after being a fan of the Guild (for more than just watching Felicia Day light up the screen [Oh, Felicia Day. . .sooooo cute. *sigh*]) I learned the fact that MMO players. . .well, I spent a long time trying to come up with a polite way to say “psychotic” and this is what I came up with. This was a stereotype confirmed after reading the open forums on the game’s site and seeing the nerd rage at “Noob” (read casual) gamers. Add all of that together, serve well shaken with a bottle of antacid and you have where I started the game, but where did I finish it?

The part in which I talk about character creation.

Character creation wasn’t bad. As anyone who has been following the games development knows there are four different classes for each faction (Sith Empire and Republic). I decided to game the Republic as I would should I buy the game, but not the character class I wanted to do. So out of the four Republic options, Jedi Consular (offensive magic user, healer, or rogue), Jedi Knight (offensive or defensive Warrior), Trooper (ranged offensive or defensive warrior), or Smuggler (healer or rogue) I decided on Jedi consular healer, which was a mistake (more on that later) so as to avoid the Jedi Knight I would play after release. I booted up and viewed one of the FMVs which was VERY, VERY impressive and began to create my character. Each class has four species available to it for the Jedi consular the options were Human, Twi’lek, Miraluka, and Iradonian. You can also select the sex for each. And of course, there’s the naming, which can be typed out or can be forgone by clicking the helpful “Random Name” button should you not want to go to the hassle. Pros: Loved the auto naming, cause while I have a game name picked out if I want to create an alt it will be a pain to come up with new names but, Con: Four races and who cares? Human, sure. Twi’lek nice. Miraluka?! Irodian?! (Having no deep seated urge to live out some Darth Maul fantasy, I was underwhelmed.) No Bothan. No Mon Calamari. No Wookie. NO WOOKIE. Gyp. Still. . . I chose a Human male and started my quest to be the best darn Jedi healer a weekend of testing would allow.

The part in which I talk about game play.

The game play was pretty instantly familiar to me from my hours, upon hours (upon, let’s face it, hours) of playing KOTOR and KOTOR 2 with the exception that you couldn’t turn your character with mouse alone. As for the rest of the controls, after talking with a friend who played WOW for a while we decided they were pretty comparable to WOW.

Game play progressed, as in any RPG, by speaking to NPCs and getting missions. Places to go, things to get, people (and animals, droids, monsters, etc.) to kill. Many missions had a bonus objective that could be completed or ignored at the player’s discretion for the accumulation of extra XP (life in an RPG, the very air you [virtually] breath in an MMORPG). Most of the missions could be done singly, but some required “grouping up” (see below), and were amusing enough. All were voice acted, quite well, unsurprisingly (this is, after all, a Bioware product).

Battle was accomplished by a standard cool down process familiar to MMO players. Say you wanted to hit someone across the screen with a large piece of droid, you put the power on a hotkey, or a handy little toolbar and clicked it. Then you decided what to do while you waited for the cooldown timer to recycle (hit them with a light saber? Play a buff on yourself? An ally? It’s up to you) allowing you to do it again. Pretty fun, and led to some tense moments as I used my favorite battle offensive force power or heal and then had to find something to do till it came around again.

Near the end of my time I got my ship. Every class gets one and allows you to complete space missions that feel quite a bit like the old Star Wars trilogy arcade game, actually. Your ship is flying forward on the screen on a pre-determined path and you can move anywhere within that screen that you want. It was amusing but, honesty to on. . .I think it will get old, real, real fast.

The part in which I talk about missions and the MMO portion of MMORPG.

Kay, so the multiplayer portion. As I mentioned, the player is assigned missions to conduct, but some of these are designed to be completed in groups. Such missions inform the player of just how many players are suggested (Minimum 2 [or else it’s not “multiplayer”, duh] maximum 4) and even what level the players’ characters should be at. Some of these missions, called flashpoints, were even, if I understand the system correctly, part of the ongoing story (Certainly they dropped the best loot). When I got my first “Flashpoint” it was with no small amount of trepidation that I decided to “group up”.

Result: Totally, worth it.

After a couple of minutes of broadcasting in general game chat (“Jedi consular looking to do Flashpoint” or some such) I got my first invite to a group. There were already two of the four suggested for the mission, but they wanted a healer (a notion that perked my ears right up, because I had yet to get my first healing power). The fact it took us a good 10 to 15 minutes of repeated broadcasting to get a healer speaks to both their rarity and import, in my opinion. When we got one, well, the mission awaited. After all of us began a conversation with an NPC the mission began. Group conversations are conducted by selecting the general “gist” of what you want to convey, but the actual words are chosen by the computer. Example, so your option says, “Jedi help. I’m a Jedi.” The actual dialogue comes out, “All Jedi are trained to help those in need. We will protect you in the coming crisis.” Get it? This, I’d guess, is because each avatar in our group was individually voice acted with each of us getting to have our avatar’s moment in the spotlight based on the roll of an automatic die which assigned a random number between 1-100 to each team member when their conversation option was chosen. The highest number spoke (Or so they claimed. I found that one person spoke the majority of the time, more than a pure statistical analysis would suggest should happen. And later, when I began automatically picking the first option without reading it, as quickly as I could, I became the spokesmen, for the most part. If speed was the key I hope it’s a quirk of the beta, cause I couldn’t read it and continue to be the “spokesperson” for my group at the same time.)

After the fighting began, the game proceeded much the way KOTOR had. You went in, light saber swinging, depending on your boys and healer to have your back. You had to find people to talk to, things to fight, all pretty standard.

Dividing the loot. Loot was dropped and gathered occasionally and was gathered by anyone who was close to it. Credits were evenly split including “commendations” (a form of planet or mission specific currency that lets you pick up some of the most powerful weapons and armor in the game. As long as you are on that planet, otherwise you must trade in the commendations at a 2/1 deficit). Weapons and armor are divided by a system of random rolling to collect the item. There are two buttons, one marked “need” and one marked “greed” or you can pass by minimizing the drop screen. My guess is that clicking “need” gets you some form of bonus (it also drew my harshest criticism, as one of my companions inquired of me, “Why do you keep clicking, ‘need’?” Ehh, oops?) Over all, grouping up became one of my favorite things to do in the end and I even did a few ordinary missions in a group because it was fun.

The part in which I give my final verdict.

I wasn’t allowed to speak about the beta until recently, so when I was asked how it went, this was my standard reply, “Bioware is conducting a beta test of their new Star Wars MMO. I am a participant in that test. On an unrelated topic, I will be purchasing a new computer capable of playing the new Bioware Star Wars MMO.” I found I loved being a healer. Everyone was always happy to see me, and I found it was fairly easy to keep up with what needed doing. Thus, I will be playing a Jedi Consular after the release. On the next testing weekend I can get into, I think I’ll try an Imperial agent. My least interested class. Yet, I still expect it to be epic.

Sia Rules!!

So the Lost One had an awesome time at Sia Furler's show last night. Who is Sia Furler you ask? Good question! Sia, as she's known to those in the know (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) is an Australian singer who rocketed to notoriety with her song *Breathe Me*. This song was used, in its entirety, over the final scenes for the series Six Feet Under. Those of you who are fans of Six will remember, the Lost One is sure, those final scenes as they were the perfect way to wrap up a show about a family operating a funeral home. . .they showed how each of the main characters died. (For the Lost One's money the most perfect ending to a series. . . Evah. In fact let's just throw up that video, shall we:

)
Well, the Lost One has been a fan of her work for years, thanks to Sirens of Song.

So she was in the Lost One's town last night and he went out and caught the show (Warning Crappy pictures from the Lost IPhone ahead:)


It was awesome, her new stuff was great, and the Lost One got to put a little bit more bad in his boy, as he helped an attractive young lady sneak into the 21+ show *without* ID. (She was a 34 year old mother of 4, and so actually the Lost One was required to-- under his Chivalric code-- help the poor women when he heard the following conversation coming from the two women behind him[Note: The Lost One has redacted their names to the first letter, since they, like the Sylvan Creature, are living in Yakima {and as white people do to the Lost One, The Lost One is assuming that all you people know each other:-) }]:

E: I'm so looking forward to this!

K: Me too! I love my children, but. . .I needed the time out. And Sia is the greatest! I'm so looking forward to this!

*Fast forward through 10 minutes of praise for Sia [she really is awesome], and an announcement that the doors will be open for the 21+ show so have your ID ready*

K: No! I don't have my ID! It must be back in Yakima!

E: What? What are we going to do?

K: I guess I'll hang out at *Starbucks* for four hours. . .

And. . . Scene)
What was the Lost One to do?

So the show it self was freaking awesome. Sia is a great big kid, who seemed high on the fact that anyone showed up to hear her at all. She absolutely did not take herself too seriously, as evidenced by these photos:





What, you may be asking yourself, is that strapped to her back? The answer is a couple of spinning bubble wands. You see the wheels turn, getting soapy around where it is connected to her back, and the fans on the back of the stage blow into the circles creating bubbles. At least in theory. Still, It was amusing to see her try. Anyways, until next time.

VICTORY!!!!

I win! I win! I win! Lost in the World's client 1. Other Side 0. Woo-Hoo!

Happy Easter to all the non-pirates in the crowd

So it seems that the Navy got some action over the weekend.

And a funny little blog entitled, "The Sniper" has the best snark:



Heh. Via Ace. AAAE.

This Video? Pure Awesome.

Words doth, fail the Lost One:



Via, my Road Dog, Ace. AAAE.
Later.

Awesome? Bad? Or Awesomely bad?

The Lost One actually found this on the Jawa Report, before it was cross posted at Ace's. As the title implies, the Lost One can't tell whether he loves this, loathes this, or otherwise. Yes, it's funny, but Zombie Ben Franklin on the electric guitar. . .Too much. The Lost One gives it 5 stars for concept, 2-2.5 stars for execution. Ah, well good for a view, anyways.

Merry Nerdmas

Even for the nerd, the holidays bring cheer, enjoy:

Where's Waldo, Pentagon/DARPA edition

So some smart lad at the Pentagon asks the question, "Hey how long would it take a group of people to discover the locations of 10 randomly placed balloons, scattered all over the US, using only the internet and social networking sites?"

Answer: 9 hours.

9. Hours.

NINE. HOURS.

THE ENTIRE UNITED STATES.

HOURS.

Freaking-a. In honor of the Wandering One, the Lost One must exclaim, "All hail the mighty engineers."

Update: Saw this post on people scamming Airline miles. Freaking Awesome.

Texas Bans Marriage

Ace has a post up of what must be the worst written Constitutional amendment, evah. Here is the bit of the Texas State constitution that's quoted on Ace:

"This state or a political subdivision of this state may not create or recognize any legal status identical or similar to marriage."

Of course, you know what is identical to marriage? Marriage. With legislatures like this, what a bloody brilliant time to be a lawyer. In fact I'm going to quote Dark Helmet here: "So Lonestar, now you see that evil will always triumph, because good is dumb."

Dang, it feels good to be a gangsta.

Until next time kids.

Letting My Geek Flag Fly. . .The Star Wars post

First, allow the Lost One to apologize for what is really a rather self indulgent little piece of fluff. On the other hand...It is his blog so...

So the Lost One recently read Star Wars on Trial, which was an interesting piece of (semi) academic discourse on the impact of 40 plus years of *Star Wars* on our world and culture.
What was most fascinating (besides the reams, and reams of actual Venom that was produced against *Star Wars*[Who knew that many hated it, that much?]) was the "testimony" of defense counsel, Matthew Stover (Yes, yes, procedure Monkeys, the Lost One knows Counsel is not supposed to give testimony. However, the Lost One has reason to believe...wait for it...it wasn't an actual trial.) Mr. Stover was hired by Lucas Arts Limited to do the novelization of *Revenge of the Sith* which apparently required many, long conversations about George Lucas' vision of what the *Star Wars* saga should have been. Huh.

Jedi Prophesies, Or "was Anakin chosen to do that?!!??!!!"

Turns out, the answer is yes, yes he was. The interesting thing about the prophesy in *Star Wars* was that it was actually kind of obviously bad, if you just looked at it with clear eyes. "The chosen one will be born of the Force, and bring balance to the Force." The first part of the prophesy is easily dispelled. Virgin birth, boom, done. It's the second part that's interesting. Balance to the Force. Did it never occur to any of the Jedi, that when the Jedi outnumber the Sith Hundreds to 2, balance is the last thing you want?

Of course, the actual reason behind the epic fail with the prophesy had to do with the whole Eastern Philosophy that pervades the films. It is this belief that life is to be a balance of both good and evil forces that so puzzles, and confuses those of us with a Christian worldview. See, in the Christian world view evil is to be avoided, we call it sin. But in the Eastern world view, good and evil must be balanced in one person. This leads to some obvious contradictions (like when Obi-wan says only a Sith speaks in absolutes...Well, I guess he hasn't been trying to kill every Sith he came into contact with since the first film...), but it also leads to an unexpected out come: the Jedi are evil.

Overly good = bad, or "Why I learned to stop worrying and love the pain."

Well, not evil, just too good. As the series intimates, the Jedi have been losing their power for centuries. The implication that Lucas wanted to create was that the Jedi's very attempt to resist the dark side, by cutting themselves off from the lives of family and permanent relationships, has left them de-powered and vulnerable to the dark side. They are so weakened that the Force needed to create Anakin, to kill them, kill the most powerful Sith, and leave his son a clean field to restart the Jedi.

Which is interesting. If you look back at the films, some strange things begin to pop out. First, is the character of Qui-gon Jin, a character that sees the potential in Anakin, but is a bit of a trouble maker. The first to see the danger and the potential of Anakin, but his rebellion from Jedi Orthodoxy has left him outside the group's power structure. The only one who sees clearly is the bad boy of the Order. In the second, we have the very creation of the Clone army, though the Republic has never needed a standing army to maintain peace, the loss of Jedi power have necessitated its creation. (On a side note, isn't their an argument to be made that had the Republic had a standing army, when Order 66 came down, a non-clone trooper would have told the chancellor were to go and what to do upon arriving, rather then gun down his general, but I digress. . .)

Seeing the films from Lucas point of view actually makes them better. *Phantom Menace* becomes a watchable film, "Attack of the Clones" becomes a decent movie, and "Revenge of the Sith" is a crime against nature. Still, that's up from a crime against God, so...

Until next time friends.

Oh, the Horror, the Horror, of the *Bar News*

The Lost One has read his first exhilarating issue of his local Bar news' notification of punishments, and he is officially scared witless. It's not so much the extraordinary nature of the mistakes that get lawyers disbarred that terrifies him, as it is the ordinariness of the acts. Sure in the end the violations are HUGE, but you can almost always see the tiny point where a compromise was made, and the dark side took over, and then the lawyer started chasing it and...you get the picture. Scary. Still, the Lost One will just have to stay on the straight and narrow, eh? Until next time kids.

Monopoly, greatest spy gadget of WWII?

So the Lost One was at work, being all, productive and such when the whistle blew for lunch,(figuratively). So the Lost breaks out his brown bag and begins perusing the web. This story was just awesome. (Also love the title, *Get Out of Jail Free*)

Turns out the British (Ultimate spy stuff, you know it's an MI product) used Monopoly games as spy kits, complete with real bank notes for the spending pretty cool.
Later.

Adam Baldwin ≠ Jane Cobb

The *Firefly* and *Chuck* alumn, who has a habit of playing the kinda thick guy proves he's any thing but thick. The Lost One nearly cried at the lawyer like precision with which federal regulations were disected. But the best part: "as Jonah Goldberg once profoundly wrote:
'Unity Is Overrated: What’s so bad about partisanship?' " Darn Straight. Until next time folks.

Batman on Racism

So the LA Times has it's undies in the proverbial knot over a picture of The Messiah in chief as the Joker from *The Dark Knight*. Allegations of racism soon fly and well...this gets made. Heh. Worth it.

Why the nanny state sucks: A case study

From the civilization that used to rule the world, comes this story " 'I'll go abroad to keep my baby': Pregnant again mother of 13 vows to save new baby as sister calls for her to be sterilised":

A pregnant woman who has had all 13 of her previous children taken into care has vowed to flee abroad to prevent social workers taking away her 14th.

Okay, you're no doubt saying, any country can have a crazy person or two. But wait it gets so much worse:

Miss Winters, a heavy smoker who was herself taken into care as a teenager,
accused social workers of failing to help her achieve her deepest wish of having
a family and she would keep giving birth until she is allowed to keep one.

Read the article and you will see just how bad it is.

Did you catch it? Here is the Lost in the World's patened Crazy Cam (patent pending) for those who missed it:

[She]accused social workers of failing to help her achieve her deepest wish of having a family...

That's right crazy mccrazerton, thinks it's the government's job to make sure she has a child. But wait, there's more!

Turns out, the Brits haven't learned their lesson, Nanny State Ho!

The Children’s Secretary set out £400million plans to put 20,000 problem
families under 24-hour CCTV super-vision in their own homes. They will be monitored to ensure that children attend school, go to bed on time and eat proper meals. Private security guards will also be sent round to carry out home checks, while parents will be given help to combat drug and alcohol addiction.

How positively Orwellian of them. But there is hope, let's see what the opposition party has to say!

Shadow Home Secretary Chris Grayling said: “This is all much too little,
much too late."

Now that my friends, is some weapons grade crazy.

Man kills 300lb Bear with stick. Awesome? Not so fast.

Turns out the guy was a Marine back in the day. So in order to have a fair fight, he should have had one hand tied behind his back or wore an eye patch over his right eye, whilst agreeing not to turn left, or their should have been a knife. For the bear to use.

From the Article:

For Everhart, the 300-pound bear that attacked his sons was almost a problem too
big to handle.
"This one got a little too aggressive for me," he said. "If
the bear had gotten near my kids, I would have just jumped on it. Knowing me,
that's what I would have done..."

"...Then I would have ripped its heart from its chest, and ate it. Raw." Well, the Lost One is sure he meant to say it anyways.

Still, the Lost One supposes he will say well done to former (as if their is such a thing when one speaks of Devil Dogs) marine Chris Everhart. One toss, one kill, bet the ol' gunny is grunting, "Satisfactory". Via Ace (AAAE).

Lost In the World Official® Endorsement: Pride, Prejudice, and Zombies

Having not officially read the book, the Lost One endorses it all the same. Read the back cover and you will see why:

"It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of
brains must be in want of more brains." So begins Pride and Prejudice and
Zombies, an expanded edition of the beloved Jane Austen novel featuring all-new
scenes of bone-crunching zombie mayhem. As our story opens, a mysterious plague
has fallen upon the quiet English village of Meryton—and the dead are returning
to life! Feisty heroine Elizabeth Bennet is determined to wipe out the zombie
menace, but she's soon distracted by the arrival of the haughty and arrogant Mr.
Darcy. What ensues is a delightful comedy of manners with plenty of civilized
sparring between the two young lovers—and even more violent sparring on the
blood-soaked battlefield as Elizabeth wages war against hordes of flesh-eating
undead. Can she vanquish the spawn of Satan? And overcome the social prejudices
of the class-conscious landed gentry? Complete with romance, heartbreak,
swordfights, cannibalism, and thousands of rotting corpses, Pride and Prejudice
and Zombies transforms a masterpiece of world literature into something you'd
actually want to read.

Heh.

New A-Team movie?!!???!!!

Huh. Could be good, but the obvious question remains: Can the bad guys hit a man sized target at 10 feet? If the answer is yes, then the movie will be more realistic, but...Where's the fun in that? Later.

The Lost in the World guide to books you shouldn't read, Cinema edition.

In his previous blog, the Lost One liked to mock bad books (Here and Here, for those interested). Now having seen a movie based on a waaaaaaaaaaaay too popular book series, the Lost One proudly presents, The Lost in the World guide to books you shouldn't read, Cinema edition, or why Twilight sucks.

The basic problem with Twilight, is that it fails to properly appreciate the role of the modern vampire. The figure has his roots in the seminal work of fiction, Bram Stoker's Dracula, where, unlike his other forgettable monsters, Stoker managed to turn the monster into a metaphor. Read the book, and it will quickly become apparent that the Vampire is a loose (A very loose [A very very loose]) symbol for the person who has lost control of their own libido. Don't believe the Lost One? Read the book. Some of Dracula's attack scenes are quite blush inducing, and at one point the Three Sisters, upon learning of Drac's plan to steal Mina Harper mock him by saying, "You will never find love."

And that is the grand truth of the Sexual libertine, he will never find love in excess, for pleasure is a tread mill that goes no where, and demands more and more stimuli to reach previous levels. Thus, in Dracula we have a monster, without a doubt, but a monster that is us at our worst, and most selfish. In that way, Dracula is an interesting and approachable character.

Yet, in Twilight, the vampire is presented as a controlled monster, a dog on a lease. It is obvious the author is aware of the tradition (She makes references to her characters, "Losing Control" [I.E. killing humans] in the sexual act), and yet chooses to allow her Vampiric hero, to control his blood lust in the name of love. The result is to imply that, rather then killing love in its cradle as it really does, in excess one can find love. No. Simply no.

Of course the term "love" is itself corrupted as a result, and we see C.S. Lewis' wise definition, "The Lover wants only the best for the beloved.", twisted into a sick simulacrum of itself, "The Lover wants the best for himself from the Beloved." As all through out the movie the Lost One kept thinking, "Oh, you love her? How horrible, for both of you. Just move away and she will forget you and find someone new. After all, most widows remarry." Of course, the "hero" doesn't, but exposes her to constant danger, for no better reason then...er...ah...

Which brings the Lost One to his second complaint, this movie has no logic. At all. See it's a family of vampires, living in the middle of nowhere (Why? A big city is much, much, much better for getting anonymously lost in), who attend school with normal people (Why? Two words, *Home Schooling*), and have super awesome powers (Why? Magic? Science? No answer.) no weaknesses (Why Aren't they proud to be Vampires then?) and are content to live on the fringes of society (Why? If they truly are as powerful and weakness free, why go with the whole blood lust scenario? Why, to quote a better vampire flick, isn't it that "Humanities Free Range days are over." [British Mini Series Ultraviolet. WAY better then Twilight.]) Yet ultimately, the author has no answers or merely weak ones. And when a plot point exists outside of reality, and only to move along the plot, there is a technical term for that in writing. "Bad writing".

Which leads to the final complaint, namely this is just another version of the Lost One's least beloved bedtime story, the bad boy who just needs to be loved. (That sound? The one you hear wherever you are on this happy spinning globe that is big daddy Earth, is the sound of the Lost One vomiting) But again, this fantasy is just as shallow as the male fantasy that, ironically, the vampire was created to mock, the I-can-sleep-with-every-one-consequence-free idea that is at the heart of the vampire mythos. Only, where STDs (Or STIs depending on the vernacular) have killed the male version, the female version is still alive, and keeping women in crappy relationships with abusive husbands, boyfriends, and lovers the world around. Yuck.

So ultimately, the Lost One must turn to a quote from the Sage that is the Ace of Spades, "There are 2 kinds of vampire films, ones in which valiant humans battle against impossible odds, to save humanity from monsters, and vampire films that suck." Wise words. Wise words, indeed.

Thanks Science!

Science! Once more with the helpful. Headline:

"Refusing whooping cough vaccine shown to raise risk" (Of getting whooping cough)
O'rly? Until next time.