Merry Nerdmas

Even for the nerd, the holidays bring cheer, enjoy:

Where's Waldo, Pentagon/DARPA edition

So some smart lad at the Pentagon asks the question, "Hey how long would it take a group of people to discover the locations of 10 randomly placed balloons, scattered all over the US, using only the internet and social networking sites?"

Answer: 9 hours.

9. Hours.

NINE. HOURS.

THE ENTIRE UNITED STATES.

HOURS.

Freaking-a. In honor of the Wandering One, the Lost One must exclaim, "All hail the mighty engineers."

Update: Saw this post on people scamming Airline miles. Freaking Awesome.

Texas Bans Marriage

Ace has a post up of what must be the worst written Constitutional amendment, evah. Here is the bit of the Texas State constitution that's quoted on Ace:

"This state or a political subdivision of this state may not create or recognize any legal status identical or similar to marriage."

Of course, you know what is identical to marriage? Marriage. With legislatures like this, what a bloody brilliant time to be a lawyer. In fact I'm going to quote Dark Helmet here: "So Lonestar, now you see that evil will always triumph, because good is dumb."

Dang, it feels good to be a gangsta.

Until next time kids.

Letting My Geek Flag Fly. . .The Star Wars post

First, allow the Lost One to apologize for what is really a rather self indulgent little piece of fluff. On the other hand...It is his blog so...

So the Lost One recently read Star Wars on Trial, which was an interesting piece of (semi) academic discourse on the impact of 40 plus years of *Star Wars* on our world and culture.
What was most fascinating (besides the reams, and reams of actual Venom that was produced against *Star Wars*[Who knew that many hated it, that much?]) was the "testimony" of defense counsel, Matthew Stover (Yes, yes, procedure Monkeys, the Lost One knows Counsel is not supposed to give testimony. However, the Lost One has reason to believe...wait for it...it wasn't an actual trial.) Mr. Stover was hired by Lucas Arts Limited to do the novelization of *Revenge of the Sith* which apparently required many, long conversations about George Lucas' vision of what the *Star Wars* saga should have been. Huh.

Jedi Prophesies, Or "was Anakin chosen to do that?!!??!!!"

Turns out, the answer is yes, yes he was. The interesting thing about the prophesy in *Star Wars* was that it was actually kind of obviously bad, if you just looked at it with clear eyes. "The chosen one will be born of the Force, and bring balance to the Force." The first part of the prophesy is easily dispelled. Virgin birth, boom, done. It's the second part that's interesting. Balance to the Force. Did it never occur to any of the Jedi, that when the Jedi outnumber the Sith Hundreds to 2, balance is the last thing you want?

Of course, the actual reason behind the epic fail with the prophesy had to do with the whole Eastern Philosophy that pervades the films. It is this belief that life is to be a balance of both good and evil forces that so puzzles, and confuses those of us with a Christian worldview. See, in the Christian world view evil is to be avoided, we call it sin. But in the Eastern world view, good and evil must be balanced in one person. This leads to some obvious contradictions (like when Obi-wan says only a Sith speaks in absolutes...Well, I guess he hasn't been trying to kill every Sith he came into contact with since the first film...), but it also leads to an unexpected out come: the Jedi are evil.

Overly good = bad, or "Why I learned to stop worrying and love the pain."

Well, not evil, just too good. As the series intimates, the Jedi have been losing their power for centuries. The implication that Lucas wanted to create was that the Jedi's very attempt to resist the dark side, by cutting themselves off from the lives of family and permanent relationships, has left them de-powered and vulnerable to the dark side. They are so weakened that the Force needed to create Anakin, to kill them, kill the most powerful Sith, and leave his son a clean field to restart the Jedi.

Which is interesting. If you look back at the films, some strange things begin to pop out. First, is the character of Qui-gon Jin, a character that sees the potential in Anakin, but is a bit of a trouble maker. The first to see the danger and the potential of Anakin, but his rebellion from Jedi Orthodoxy has left him outside the group's power structure. The only one who sees clearly is the bad boy of the Order. In the second, we have the very creation of the Clone army, though the Republic has never needed a standing army to maintain peace, the loss of Jedi power have necessitated its creation. (On a side note, isn't their an argument to be made that had the Republic had a standing army, when Order 66 came down, a non-clone trooper would have told the chancellor were to go and what to do upon arriving, rather then gun down his general, but I digress. . .)

Seeing the films from Lucas point of view actually makes them better. *Phantom Menace* becomes a watchable film, "Attack of the Clones" becomes a decent movie, and "Revenge of the Sith" is a crime against nature. Still, that's up from a crime against God, so...

Until next time friends.

Oh, the Horror, the Horror, of the *Bar News*

The Lost One has read his first exhilarating issue of his local Bar news' notification of punishments, and he is officially scared witless. It's not so much the extraordinary nature of the mistakes that get lawyers disbarred that terrifies him, as it is the ordinariness of the acts. Sure in the end the violations are HUGE, but you can almost always see the tiny point where a compromise was made, and the dark side took over, and then the lawyer started chasing it and...you get the picture. Scary. Still, the Lost One will just have to stay on the straight and narrow, eh? Until next time kids.

Monopoly, greatest spy gadget of WWII?

So the Lost One was at work, being all, productive and such when the whistle blew for lunch,(figuratively). So the Lost breaks out his brown bag and begins perusing the web. This story was just awesome. (Also love the title, *Get Out of Jail Free*)

Turns out the British (Ultimate spy stuff, you know it's an MI product) used Monopoly games as spy kits, complete with real bank notes for the spending pretty cool.
Later.

Adam Baldwin ≠ Jane Cobb

The *Firefly* and *Chuck* alumn, who has a habit of playing the kinda thick guy proves he's any thing but thick. The Lost One nearly cried at the lawyer like precision with which federal regulations were disected. But the best part: "as Jonah Goldberg once profoundly wrote:
'Unity Is Overrated: What’s so bad about partisanship?' " Darn Straight. Until next time folks.

Batman on Racism

So the LA Times has it's undies in the proverbial knot over a picture of The Messiah in chief as the Joker from *The Dark Knight*. Allegations of racism soon fly and well...this gets made. Heh. Worth it.

Why the nanny state sucks: A case study

From the civilization that used to rule the world, comes this story " 'I'll go abroad to keep my baby': Pregnant again mother of 13 vows to save new baby as sister calls for her to be sterilised":

A pregnant woman who has had all 13 of her previous children taken into care has vowed to flee abroad to prevent social workers taking away her 14th.

Okay, you're no doubt saying, any country can have a crazy person or two. But wait it gets so much worse:

Miss Winters, a heavy smoker who was herself taken into care as a teenager,
accused social workers of failing to help her achieve her deepest wish of having
a family and she would keep giving birth until she is allowed to keep one.

Read the article and you will see just how bad it is.

Did you catch it? Here is the Lost in the World's patened Crazy Cam (patent pending) for those who missed it:

[She]accused social workers of failing to help her achieve her deepest wish of having a family...

That's right crazy mccrazerton, thinks it's the government's job to make sure she has a child. But wait, there's more!

Turns out, the Brits haven't learned their lesson, Nanny State Ho!

The Children’s Secretary set out £400million plans to put 20,000 problem
families under 24-hour CCTV super-vision in their own homes. They will be monitored to ensure that children attend school, go to bed on time and eat proper meals. Private security guards will also be sent round to carry out home checks, while parents will be given help to combat drug and alcohol addiction.

How positively Orwellian of them. But there is hope, let's see what the opposition party has to say!

Shadow Home Secretary Chris Grayling said: “This is all much too little,
much too late."

Now that my friends, is some weapons grade crazy.

Man kills 300lb Bear with stick. Awesome? Not so fast.

Turns out the guy was a Marine back in the day. So in order to have a fair fight, he should have had one hand tied behind his back or wore an eye patch over his right eye, whilst agreeing not to turn left, or their should have been a knife. For the bear to use.

From the Article:

For Everhart, the 300-pound bear that attacked his sons was almost a problem too
big to handle.
"This one got a little too aggressive for me," he said. "If
the bear had gotten near my kids, I would have just jumped on it. Knowing me,
that's what I would have done..."

"...Then I would have ripped its heart from its chest, and ate it. Raw." Well, the Lost One is sure he meant to say it anyways.

Still, the Lost One supposes he will say well done to former (as if their is such a thing when one speaks of Devil Dogs) marine Chris Everhart. One toss, one kill, bet the ol' gunny is grunting, "Satisfactory". Via Ace (AAAE).

Lost In the World Official® Endorsement: Pride, Prejudice, and Zombies

Having not officially read the book, the Lost One endorses it all the same. Read the back cover and you will see why:

"It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of
brains must be in want of more brains." So begins Pride and Prejudice and
Zombies, an expanded edition of the beloved Jane Austen novel featuring all-new
scenes of bone-crunching zombie mayhem. As our story opens, a mysterious plague
has fallen upon the quiet English village of Meryton—and the dead are returning
to life! Feisty heroine Elizabeth Bennet is determined to wipe out the zombie
menace, but she's soon distracted by the arrival of the haughty and arrogant Mr.
Darcy. What ensues is a delightful comedy of manners with plenty of civilized
sparring between the two young lovers—and even more violent sparring on the
blood-soaked battlefield as Elizabeth wages war against hordes of flesh-eating
undead. Can she vanquish the spawn of Satan? And overcome the social prejudices
of the class-conscious landed gentry? Complete with romance, heartbreak,
swordfights, cannibalism, and thousands of rotting corpses, Pride and Prejudice
and Zombies transforms a masterpiece of world literature into something you'd
actually want to read.

Heh.

New A-Team movie?!!???!!!

Huh. Could be good, but the obvious question remains: Can the bad guys hit a man sized target at 10 feet? If the answer is yes, then the movie will be more realistic, but...Where's the fun in that? Later.

The Lost in the World guide to books you shouldn't read, Cinema edition.

In his previous blog, the Lost One liked to mock bad books (Here and Here, for those interested). Now having seen a movie based on a waaaaaaaaaaaay too popular book series, the Lost One proudly presents, The Lost in the World guide to books you shouldn't read, Cinema edition, or why Twilight sucks.

The basic problem with Twilight, is that it fails to properly appreciate the role of the modern vampire. The figure has his roots in the seminal work of fiction, Bram Stoker's Dracula, where, unlike his other forgettable monsters, Stoker managed to turn the monster into a metaphor. Read the book, and it will quickly become apparent that the Vampire is a loose (A very loose [A very very loose]) symbol for the person who has lost control of their own libido. Don't believe the Lost One? Read the book. Some of Dracula's attack scenes are quite blush inducing, and at one point the Three Sisters, upon learning of Drac's plan to steal Mina Harper mock him by saying, "You will never find love."

And that is the grand truth of the Sexual libertine, he will never find love in excess, for pleasure is a tread mill that goes no where, and demands more and more stimuli to reach previous levels. Thus, in Dracula we have a monster, without a doubt, but a monster that is us at our worst, and most selfish. In that way, Dracula is an interesting and approachable character.

Yet, in Twilight, the vampire is presented as a controlled monster, a dog on a lease. It is obvious the author is aware of the tradition (She makes references to her characters, "Losing Control" [I.E. killing humans] in the sexual act), and yet chooses to allow her Vampiric hero, to control his blood lust in the name of love. The result is to imply that, rather then killing love in its cradle as it really does, in excess one can find love. No. Simply no.

Of course the term "love" is itself corrupted as a result, and we see C.S. Lewis' wise definition, "The Lover wants only the best for the beloved.", twisted into a sick simulacrum of itself, "The Lover wants the best for himself from the Beloved." As all through out the movie the Lost One kept thinking, "Oh, you love her? How horrible, for both of you. Just move away and she will forget you and find someone new. After all, most widows remarry." Of course, the "hero" doesn't, but exposes her to constant danger, for no better reason then...er...ah...

Which brings the Lost One to his second complaint, this movie has no logic. At all. See it's a family of vampires, living in the middle of nowhere (Why? A big city is much, much, much better for getting anonymously lost in), who attend school with normal people (Why? Two words, *Home Schooling*), and have super awesome powers (Why? Magic? Science? No answer.) no weaknesses (Why Aren't they proud to be Vampires then?) and are content to live on the fringes of society (Why? If they truly are as powerful and weakness free, why go with the whole blood lust scenario? Why, to quote a better vampire flick, isn't it that "Humanities Free Range days are over." [British Mini Series Ultraviolet. WAY better then Twilight.]) Yet ultimately, the author has no answers or merely weak ones. And when a plot point exists outside of reality, and only to move along the plot, there is a technical term for that in writing. "Bad writing".

Which leads to the final complaint, namely this is just another version of the Lost One's least beloved bedtime story, the bad boy who just needs to be loved. (That sound? The one you hear wherever you are on this happy spinning globe that is big daddy Earth, is the sound of the Lost One vomiting) But again, this fantasy is just as shallow as the male fantasy that, ironically, the vampire was created to mock, the I-can-sleep-with-every-one-consequence-free idea that is at the heart of the vampire mythos. Only, where STDs (Or STIs depending on the vernacular) have killed the male version, the female version is still alive, and keeping women in crappy relationships with abusive husbands, boyfriends, and lovers the world around. Yuck.

So ultimately, the Lost One must turn to a quote from the Sage that is the Ace of Spades, "There are 2 kinds of vampire films, ones in which valiant humans battle against impossible odds, to save humanity from monsters, and vampire films that suck." Wise words. Wise words, indeed.

Thanks Science!

Science! Once more with the helpful. Headline:

"Refusing whooping cough vaccine shown to raise risk" (Of getting whooping cough)
O'rly? Until next time.

Nerd Cakes

Okay, these are just awesome. It seems, nerds no longer content to be quietly...er...nerdy, have now begun making delicious and cool looking cakes (And is the Lost One the only one who was shocked ridged by the fact that 2 of these were groom cakes? [The Lost One can't decide whether he is horrified by the grooms or whether he admires them, after all they are getting married might as well let their geek flags fly]):

An AT-AT Cake

Obi-Wan Cake

Millennium Falcon Cake

Serenity Cake

Each so brilliantly dorky, one has to sit back in wonder. Via Ace (AAAE).

Some Music for Your Life.

Courtesy of the group Bitter:Sweet here's Sugar Mama:


And here's links to their other, much, much ,much, more scandalous work (Light content warning for those with particular sensitivity to suggestive lyrics):

1. Dirty Laundry (from *Castle* commercials, also a Microsoft Zune commercial)

2. The Bomb (*Confessions of a Shopaholic* preview)

Scandalous, but the Lost One thinks, all in good fun.

Until next time.

Childhood is Calling...

Hang Up. Recently the Lost One was asked what the craziest thing he had ever done was, and after thinking about it...he couldn't think of anything. The fact is the Lost One was born at or around 50 years old, and so consequently any time something scandalous was being done the Lost One's response was, "Oh, I would but...The risk reward matrix isn't coming out in your favor. Sorry." (The Sylvan Creature could, was he feeling unkind, relate many a story of the Lost One's cowardliness [the waiting by the getaway car while others TP'ed a friend's car jumps, instantly and embarrassingly to mind]. Lucky for the Lost One, the Sylvan Creature is too much the gentleman to do so)

However, at last vindication! The Lost One has no stories like this one, he found while watching "This American Life". Enjoy. (Mild Content warning- There are a couple of bleeped expletives and drug references):



Ah, the stupidity of youth. Be happy your older.

Lost in the World, Esq.

Just thought you'd like to know is all. Yay, Lost One. And since he enjoys saying it in song here is from Joss Whedon's Webisodic masterpiece *Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog* "Everything You Ever" Lost in the World Esquire mix:

Here lies everything
The world I wanted at my feet
My victory's complete
So hail to the chief

(Everything you ever)

Arise and see
So your world is fine
So you think justice has no voice and we all have no choice
Well now your world is mine

(Everything you ever)

And I am fine

*Musical Interlude*

Now the nightmares real
Now Lost in the World, Esq. is here to make you quake with fear
To make the whole world kneel

(Everything you ever)

And I wont feel...
a thing.
*End of Song*

Until next time.

Home Videos, Now Online!

Having received his Brother, the Wandering One's, latest fraternity lip-synch competition entry, the Lost One must, now post it (Even though, truth to tell it's not that good [Sorry Bro]. It seems their dancing consists chiefly in buttoning, and then unbuttoning their suit jackets. Kinda lame, still...):



Now this one from two years ago, much better (Can you tell which is The Wandering One?):


The Lost One knows what you are thinking, Dang, those nerds have game. The Lost One knows, Right? Who knew that MIT kids had it in them?
Until next time.

News of both...

The Sacred:

Two students who were threatened with suspension at the College of Alameda after
one of them prayed with an ailing teacher in a faculty office can sue the
community college district for allegedly violating their freedom of speech, a
federal judge has ruled....The women sued, and U.S. District Judge Susan Illston
ruled in San Francisco that their case could proceed, saying a college student
has the right to pray in private outside the classroom.

San Fransisco?!??!! Huh, who'd a thunk it?:

Kyriacou prayed with the teacher, Sharon Bell, at an office Bell shared with
other teachers, on two occasions in November and December 2007. The second time,
a day when Bell was feeling ill, another teacher entered the office and told
Kyriacou, "You can't be doing that in here," and the student stopped praying and
left, the suit said.
Kyriacou and Omaga received suspension notices 10 days
later. Omaga was accused of praying disruptively in class, Illston said, citing
testimony at the students' disciplinary hearings.

Well, it looks like someone is about to get their tenure snapped. Heh heh.

Now on to the "Profane". Washington, DC is often referred to as "Hollywood, for ugly people", but it would seem that that is only true of American politics. So here's a link to a list of the 65 most beautiful women in international politics. (Scroll down past the Espanol [OK, so it's not that profane, none of the pictures are "risque" so it's totally SFW, but the Lost One had a perfectly good set up to use]). Smart and pretty = *Sigh*. Enjoy. Oh, but watch out for #46.

Via, drum roll please, Ace (AAAE).

Episcopal Denomination, Now with Less Crazy!

Now, in an effort to get back to the funny, Lost In The World, proudly presents: Ann Holmes Redding, The Priest who doesn't bother with all that boring Bible reading. The Lost One first became aware of Ms. Redding waaaaaaaaaay back in the days of yore known as the magic land of 2007. It turns out that then Rev. Redding attended an interfaith Class, from the Seattle Times:

at a St. Mark's interfaith class, another Muslim leader taught a chanted prayer and led a meditation on opening one's heart. The chanting appealed to the singer in Redding; the meditation spoke to her heart. She began saying the prayer daily.

First, we have the obvious question: Why was a Christian church hosting an Islamic class on how to pray like a Muslim? Is it just the Lost One? Was this made a best practice while he wasn't looking? Anyways...

Eventually, Ms. Redding decided, well let's let her tell it:

"I could not not be a Muslim...At the most basic level, I understand the two religions to be compatible...I am both Christian and Muslim."

But how you say, does that work?

"There are tenets of the faiths that are very, very different,"said Kurt Fredrickson, director of the doctor of ministry program at Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena, Calif. "The most basic would be: What do you do with Jesus?" Christianity has historically regarded Jesus as the son of God and God incarnate, both fully human and fully divine. Muslims, though they regard Jesus as a great prophet, do not see him as divine and do not consider him the son of God.

And how did Redding respond?

Redding doesn't feel she has to resolve all the contradictions..."why would I spend time to try to reconcile all of Christian belief with all of Islam?"

Umm, because YOU'RE A FREAKING PRIEST!!!???!! So how did she get here?

"It wasn't about intellect,"

You don't say.

"All I know is the calling of my heart to Islam was very much something about my identity and who I am supposed to be."...As much as she loves her church, she has always challenged it. She calls Christianity the "world religion of privilege." She has never believed in original sin. And for years she struggled with the nature of Jesus' divinity.

So we have a radical lefty, who never actually committed to the basic tenants of Christianity. And she was both ordained and employed by a Christian organization. For 30 years. Fan-freaking-tastic.

Yet, all good things must come to an end: from CNN

For nearly 30 years, Redding has been an ordained minister in the Episcopal Church. Her priesthood ended Wednesday when she was defrocked.

Over 3 years after her "conversion". 3 Years.

James Wellman, who chairs the department of comparative religion at the University of Washington, said that while it is not unusual for people to "mix and match" beliefs, it is almost unheard of for a minister to claim two religions. "When you take ordination as a Christian minister, you take an explicit vow of loyalty to Jesus. It's hard for me to understand how a Christian minister could have dual loyalties," Wellman said.

So obvious a contradiction, even a secularist can see it.

The Diocese of Rhode Island, where Redding was ordained, told her to leave either her new Muslim faith or the ministry. A diocese statement said Bishop Geralyn Wolf found Redding to be "a woman of utmost integrity. However, the Bishop believes that a priest of the Church cannot be both a Christian and a Muslim.

3 Years. 2 years after an article was published about her. *Sigh* Well, better late then never. Via Ace (AAAE).

The End of an ERa

Yesterday the final new episode of long running TV show ER was broadcast. Though the Lost One can't rightly say he was a fan (He's seen only a handful of episodes in the last half decade plus), the end did stir up a startling amount of emotions. So, cause the Lost One is feeling maudlin, he's going to subject you to this post. Sorry.

The First thing to know is that while he hasn't watched for a while, in the beginning, he did. Those of you old enough to remember it's beginning will recall the East coast/West Coast style rivalry that was being set up twixt, ER and Chicago Hope (Wha? The Lost One knows, right? So here's a link to explain). It was an easy choice really, whiny over educated sawbones, or fast-paced hero viewing created by the author of Jurassic Park? Yeah, it was that easy.

Still, it's not the memory of the shows he watched, but instead the Lost One remembers random things like calling his friend Elizabeth "Angel" Wolf, "Lizzie" during high school (Just Like Dr. Romano [Y'know, before the Lost One figured out he was a douche]), the article on the new hit medical drama he read while waiting for the bus to take him to the mall, or the time he found the ugly truth about racism in America, when he discovered there were actually people agitating against an interracial couple on ER (The shock? It was Actor Eriq La Salle an American of African descent who was opposed). Each memory takes an added flavor from the show to memories for which the show only provides a backdrop. Yet, they make the memory that much more intense.

And so, while he outgrew the show years ago, The Lost One bids a fond farewell to it, since it was with him in his childhood. Funny, the show ended it's run by recreating a scene from it's premiere, implying that while the show was ending, the drama at the hospital never would. A good metaphor for childhood, we all leave it, but it continues without us.

For those of you who have asked...

There are no vampires in Massachusetts:

"Lynne Mooney Teta sent a notice out Thursday to faculty, students, and
parents denying the presence of bloodsuckers. She declined, however, to
offer details about the rumors."

Of course the idea of vampires in Massachusetts is ridiculous. And what would vampires being doing at Boston Latin School...Huh.

Well, how could there possibly be bloodsuckers from a school that has such prestigious alumni as Ben Franklin, Sam Adams, Sumner Redstone, and...Wait, Louis Farrakhan!?!!?

Crap, does anyone know what the last minute fair for a flight to Boston is? The Lost One suddenly senses there might be some EVH business in New England.

Via Ace, as always, as ever.

All the Planet's Problems Have Been Solved!

It must be official, otherwise why would the UN being wasting their time (and money) holding a retrospective of Battlestar Galactica? Don't miss take the Lost One, he was a huge fan of the show, it's fun. It's thought provoking. But, above all it's a television show.

From TV Guide:

"Standing in a United Nations chamber before a table covered in placards for
each of the 12 Battlestar Galactica colonies, Edward James Olmos delivered a
stirring speech that led a crowd of reporters and students to join in a chant of
'So say we all,' one of the key phrases from the show.
It could have been a stirring moment in the series finale — but the moment was real. "

The Lost One is (given his well known enmity towards the most useless entity ever created, the UN) less then shocked to see them waste time, money, and prestige on a chance to rub elbows with a few famous people (Official UN "Goodwill" ambassadors Geri "Sexy Spice" Halliwell, or Angelina "Adopt'em all, let God sort'em out" Jolie anyone?). Still, there is nothing useful that they could be doing at this point? Nothing?

The Lost One doesn't know which is sadder, that people accept this from the UN, or that it well may be the truth.

Entertainment vs. Art?

In his daily constitutional around the web, the Lost One discovered that the *Boundless* crew is all in a tizzy over *Watchmen* (No doubt, those of you who read *Boundless* regularly are shocked, simply shocked that someone on staff would voice a strong opinion [The Lost One often jokes that it is in the staff contract at *Boundless* that white smoke must be deployed when a new person is hired]), namely wondering aloud whether the movie is too full of adult content to be seen by Christians. This in turn led to a debate about what is art as opposed to entertainment leading to just a few of the relevant quotes below:

Anyone who visits the Vatican knows the difference between the Renaissance paintings of nudes inside, and the semi-pornographic billboards outside.

I think there is a difference between sculptures/paintings and real life...entertainment nudity...

Nakedness in an artistic context (the statue of the David, for example) is very different from another context.

All of this debate has led the Lost One to ask a very basic question: Is there, in actuality a legitimate distinction twixt art and Entertainment? To which the Lost One must answer emphatically, NO.

What's funny is that when one side defending *Watchmen* makes a statement about the nudity in the art world, people are quick to cry, "Foul". "They are different," The critic says, "Art is viewed by rich people in museums who use words like, 'Narrative Painting"', 'Maquette', and (the Lost One's favorite), 'Iconography'. It's far removed from something made for the menial purpose of mass consumption."

But of course the question is, is it? What most people fail to appreciate is the fact that art is always made to be viewed. It is not made for the artist to achieve catharsis, or to showcase their intellectual talent. No art is, at it's best, about the bringing of a new idea to the viewer. About communicating with them, about challenging them, about elevating them, but always about them. It's not focused on the artist's wants, needs, or personal beliefs about what the "right" crowd is. It is about communicating universal truth, universally. Indeed, a quick perusal of the art terms above will show that all of them are about selling the art, or communicating a story. Art is, and always has been about communicating.

The second thing missing is the simple fact that most of what we consider art, was created for mass consumption. Few would argue that Shakespeare isn't art. Yet Shakespeare wrote, not so students can discuss...say... the use of Amazon myth to subjugate women (or not), or the insights of a playwright into the follies of both youth and age, or the evil and corrupting nature of power, but instead wrote so the groundlings could laugh at poor Helena, who goes from one too few lovers, to one to many (Midsummer's Night Dream), to cry with Juliet when her parent's force her love to suicide, and herself as well (Romeo & Juliet), and to hiss at Richard III as he seduces a widow in front of the quickly cooling corpse of her own husband (Richard III). The fact that each of these plays excels at beautiful subtext, and thought provoking ideas, in no way diminish the fun for which they were ultimately created. It's the same in Painting, how many of the paintings we admire today were commissioned by nobles, purely for the pleasure of keeping up with the Jones, (Or De Gauls, or Reyes, or Mèdicis)? In architecture, Vitruvius' De Architectura is dedicated to the Emperor Augustus, is it so hard to believe this is because the designer was actively hoping to be massively popular? The Lost One thinks not.

Thus, there are things one could say against *Watchmen* (And the Lost One might just. Only...later), but the one thing you mustn't ever say is, "It's just entertainment." There is, ultimately, no such animal.

Nothing's Happening so...

Rule #1 of Blogging, when you have nothing nice to say...Post a video. Enjoy.



Because it was funny. And now because the Lost One's "Get a date initiative" was successful...



Dating Humor:How To Convince Someone It's Me, Not You

Until next time.

Science! Strikes Again.

Any long term readers of the Lost One's other blog (of which there where none) know that the Lost One has a love/hate relationship with Science! No not, science. Science! the self important article that is released absolutely proving something we usually already knew at a cost of have a mint to the tax payer. It's almost always, overly expensive, and a way to make sure some PH.D candidate is making the jump to full professor. While these stories tend to be fun, they are usually insultingly obvious.

Still...

So, in the spirit of finding the funny the Lost One announces the newest finding of Science!

Kissing a Lover makes you feel good.

Any bets it took them $5 million plus to come to that conclusion? No? Oh, well until next time.

Women Who Should be Avoided, cause, Dude, Wench be Crazy: 1 in a suprisingly large series

So, in order to add a little gender balance to his blog and because his primary (/sole) readership is male the Lost One will now relate the bloody tale of Dominique Fisher.

Like many a cautionary tale, this one starts with a guy who made a bad choice. A very bad choice. Some argue that that choice was getting out of bed on the day of the incident, the Lost One can't really argue with that. But the Lost One being a proximate cause sort, pegs it as drinking. No that's wrong. Not drinking. Drinking is wrong. Drinking excessively to the point of blacking out at the wrong darn time, is what the Lost One meant. See while the boy in question was imbibing, rather, shall we say, generously, he met the afore mentioned Loon at a party.

Now, those of you who have followed the link (which you shouldn't do, until after you've finished the post [can't ruin the ending don't you know]), have probably seen Dominique. She doesn't look crazy. This tip is for the boys, from the Lost One to you. Gents, the really dangerous crazy ones...rarely look crazy. Particularly to drunk eyes. But he digresses.

Our young man having acquired a fresh set of Beer goggles begins a conversation with the crack pot. Mistake #2. Because while a sober person might have seen the crazy coming, our boy was out of his wits. Quesera, sera . During the course of this conversation, Our kooky friend Dominique invites our boy back to her room, for a little...You get the idea.

Here, our inebriated friend failed to remember his Shakespeare, as the Bard tells us, "Strong drink giveth the desire, but taketh away the ability." In this case the ability in question was the ability to defend one's self, but that's in the future.

After returning to the demented dame's flat (as the British say), the two accomplished the young man's mission (so to speak), and he made mistake #3. He passed out in her bed, leaving her with nothing to do, and no one to talk to, so what is young Dominique to do?

Carve her name into his shoulder, it turns out. And not just her name, but also a couple of arrows indicating where her name was on his body, cause the huge bloody swatch was just too darn subtle, the Lost One supposes. Also, some fairly artistic other drawings, that, like an Escher painting, seem to make a new picture depending on the angle one views them in. Interesting. If you know, IT WASN'T THAT IT WAS HACKED INTO HIS ARM. And he stays passed out through the whole, darn episode. Yikes.

But of course, eventually, he wakes up, and of course he calls the police. So what does our girl have to say for herself?

"He asked me to do it."

Moral lessons learned:

1. Drinking to excess is bad.

2. Talking to women in this state, is likewise to be avoided.

3. You are not so attractive as a drunk that any but a psycho-chick will find you attractive.

Just saying. until next time.

Guys Less Worthy of a Date then Me: 1 in a series of a Depressingly Large Number

Ok Ladies, as part of the Lost One's new, "Get me a date this Friday" initiative the Lost One is going to tell of a man whose own status as single, should terrify any woman who reads this blog (of which there are none), directly into the arms of the Lost One purely so they can change their status on Face book/MySpace to "in a relationship". So without further adieu and with no more gilding of the Lilly the Lost One gives you, a brief, terrifying glimpse of Jonathan Alfred "The Impaler" Sharkey.

First thing to know about Sharkey is that he once ran for governor of Minnesota. Now the Lost One knows what you are thinking, "Politician? 'Nuff said." But oh, no friends it gets so much better. See, our boy Sharkey ran on the Vampyres, Witches and Pagans Party ticket (What does the party believe? Well, they are like the Democratic party, except they are a bunch of very pale white people, who claim to stick up for persecuted minorities but instead spend most of their time sucking their "constituency" dry…Wait a tick, they're exactly like the Democratic party). Less, you think that "The Impaler" is merely a uniting kinda guy, who eschews "identity politics" in favor of a "big tent" approach, Sharkey is, in fact according to his Website (And what website would contain false information?), a vampyre. Yes, you can tell he's old; he spells it with a "y". In his bid for governor he came out with strong religious convictions, "'I'm a Satanist who doesn't hate Jesus,' says Sharkey. 'I just hate God the Father.'" On a side note, is the Lost One the only one jazzed that a politician knew enough about Christianity to know the difference? Moving on. Sharkey is quite up front with how he treats those who give money to his cause, ""I sink my fangs into the neck of my donor ... and drink their blood." Refreshing honesty, given the Lost One is *still* getting E-mails from John McCain encouraging him to donate money (Dude, the Lost One thought you sucked as a presidential candidate, why would he give you money to be someone *else's* Senator?) Yet, somehow he lost.

Oh, sure, like every politician he had a past, a few skeletons in his closet (Litera…Nah, too obvious) but what politician doesn't? Sharkey was arrested twice for "Stalking". What happened to this country when a fella can't go through the trash of random strangers he finds attractive?!?? What like there's some kinda law against that now? Whatever. Moving on.

But Sharkey was rising above it all, to make a stab at the highest office in all the Land, the presidency of these United States (Which, after all is a tale as old as time, isn't it? Creature of the night runs for and loses gubanatorial bid. Creature of the night is arrested for stalking. Creature of the night rises to become president. Who hasn't heard it a thousand times by now?). Yet, it was not to be because of, you guessed it, a woman. Or girl to be exact. Quick, to the crazy (Via the Fox News link), "[Sharkey] was running for president in 2007 when the 16-year-old Rochester girl wrote a message of support on his MySpace page. She told police they began dating online, and the threats began when she tried to break off the relationship." Obviously, this is all the girls fault. I mean, everyone knows that "message of support" is code for, "Please bite my neck", I mean right? Right? Riiiiight? Moving on, "She told police that "in a desperate attempt" to get him to leave her alone, she had e-mailed him that she was a member of an elite vampire hunter society and that continuing their relationship would put him in danger." This statement angers the Lost One so deeply, he can barely type. When the Lost One applied to the EVH he had to pass a physical fitness test, and write a 300 page Opus on Vampire lore (the mental health test was waived, of course. For obvious reasons). Now he comes back to find that apparently any pretty face or even really anyone with a "Vampire Hunters do it all night long" bumper sticker can join. Please. But our boy was not deterred. Wooing his love the traditional way, love notes written in blood. Threatening her parents. Why he even placed here on a pedestal of sorts, "[Sharkey] referred to the Rochester girl as his wife and princess." Ahhhhhhhhhhh.

So ladies, how about it?

Sharkey or the Lost One?

The Lost One will be sitting by his phone waiting for the calls to come in.

Via Ace (As always)

Crazy Obama money, here comes the Lost One!

Well, the Lost One was nervous about his financial future, but the Obamessiah has used his magical powers and assured the Lost One's liquidity for years to come. Having nominated this man:










Ron Sims, offering Praise to the One

For the position of Undersecrutary of Housing and Urban Development, the Lost One is going to charge people $20 bucks a head for pictures with the hand that shook the hand of the man that was chosen by the Lamb of Illinois. He can already see the queue forming. Ah, got to love the followers of the O-cult. Hasta

Too Hot For NBC

As Ace notes, PETA would have been allowed to do a commercial if they would just tone down the Sex. The Lost One loves that the Lamb of Illinois can be used against the DNC's platform. Bloody brilliant.

Stupid Criminal

There are times, when one despairs of the species:

A 24-year-old Everett man was arrested Wednesday morning for allegedly trying to sell Oxycodone and other drugs inside a stall in the men’s bathroom at the Everett Police Station...Police say the man apparently thought he was at a probation office, not a police station.

The Lost One must confess to being torn by this story. On the one hand, y'know, less criminals on the street. Yay, he guesses.

On the other hand, there is this feeling...like...Disappointment? Imagine for a second that you're Batman and you discover that The Joker, your arch rival, was a *Monk*-esque agoraphobic. And a retarded one at that. You know what the feeling is like, It's like, "This is the scourge that is destroying our culture and crashing our civilization? I'm deeply chagrined."

Wait a second, what if all of this is a clever plan to demoralize the Lost One by pretending to be so incompetent? Yes, that's better. The cheeky rogues.

A bit of British Humor

From the Show Man Stroke Woman. Apparently. Enjoy.



Now, is the Lost One allowed to say that? Has he just Guaranteed a life of lonely singleness?
He doesn't care, IT IS JUST A PINK RIBBON! It hasn't even been his wedding and this annoys him. Here's another:


The Lost One would swear there must be conversations like this going on between women, behind closed doors...

Because Ace was Frickin' on fire today...

You know how some days, you get no good news stories, and the best thing to talk about is like...A Columbine Coxswain falling into the water? Well, that's not today at Ace's, oh no my friends.

First, Young Adolph Hitler Jr. has been removed from his parents home. CPS suspects abuse (You Think!).

Next, A man sells his daughter into "Marriage" for cash, meat (Romantic, No?), Gatorade, and Beer (Wait, now it all makes sense). PS Cohabitation is a euphamism, what for? The Lost One will leave it to you to figure out.

Tertiary, Humanity is forcing the evolution of all the things we are currently hunting to near extinction (You know, the Lost One once made this argument to one of his Hippee teachers. She had a near heart attack.) As Ace says, "You're welcome."

Finally, (though, honestly I'd heard about this from other sources...) a women's study major is auctioning off here virginity/ being shocked some of the bidders are, "Creepy". The Lost One is shocked she used the word, "Some". Then again, if she's actually going to go through with it, maybe not. The lies we tell ourself. Update: Ace has a link to a radio host trying to show the girl the error of her ways.

You can't make this stuff up, and Ace deserves some link love for his crack research. Go give it to him. Hasta.

Two in one day?!! Amazing.

While doing his bi-daily cruise around the blogo-sphere, the Lost One was incredibly happy to find this post over on Boundless-The Line. The Lost One was happy to see this post for several reasons, 1) (and most importantly) He has a little Man crush on Suzanne Hadley's writing, and was thus glad to see her writing an article (Now we know this blog is already old hat, it will no doubt see its first restraining order, any minute now...), 2) He needed SOMETHING to blog on and didn't want to do what he usually does in that situation...Steal something from Ace.
3) as a child of Divorce, the Lost One is intimately familiar with divorce, and thus has an opinion (and an expert one at that). On to the article. In a response to an article from MSN, Ms. Hadley comments on the authors lack of enthusiasm for marriage saying:

I find it sad that the author refers to those who can't afford divorce as casualties. I'm not naïve to his meaning, but excluding abusive situations, casualty -- "a person or thing injured, lost, or destroyed" according to Websters -- seems like the wrong word. This perspective views a difficult marriage as a threat to personal happiness. Well, yeah. But that's why vows include "for better, for worse."

While the Lost One applauds the sentiments, he is bitter and jaded enough to wonder, is this trend of not divorcing really a good thing? Really, the Lost One is pro-marriage. But in our self centric culture one has to wonder if the participants in these not divorces are actually taking the time to honestly evaluate their own failings in the marriage, or merely counting time (and scoring points [in a game where there are only losers {none more then the children}] at one another's expense) until they can get a divorce. The fact of the matter is that the Lost One's own parents' divorce hardly resulted in behaviour that was the epitome of Chivalry and Champagne. While it is His hope that none would divorce, allowing a divorce that is much more restrictive (as indeed, most are when serious religious beliefs are followed [In the Christian faith, Jesus had some baaaaaaaaad things to say about divorce]), that removes a partner from the joys of the relationship, and the warmth of love by disallowing remarriage, and by serving a touch of social stigma might just be the thing to encourage conservative thinking. It sure worked for one of the Lost Parents. Any ways, just my thoughts on the subject, for what it's worth. Hasta.

Oh that new Blog Smell!

The newly rechristened, Lost in the World, here to tell you all howdy, and the Lost One hopes you all enjoy his little blog. As my previous blog was dedicated to the life of a Law School student, nerd, and politics junkie, so this one will be likewise a look at the world of a wannabe lawyer, nerd, and politics junkie. So different, The Lost One totally had to start another blog. Until Next time, kids.